saturday - 29/7/06

I came home feeling uplifted...I was glad when I saw that Gab was still awake cuz I wanted to share what happened with someone. One look from her totally killed my mood.

Anyway, today Rev. Mike Connell came. I was afraid of him la, I admit. I shut off when he was preaching. Somehow I just didnt like him at all.

But anyway Shumei and Yisheng came (praise the Lord)! It was a fantastic time la cuz it was the first time Shumei was at CHC service. Ya I hope that the service did something for her cuz she seemed a little distracted . . .

They left early..After the sermon. They couldnt stay for the manifestation.

Many of us responded to the outer call from Rev. Connell. Mike, Ken, Belle and I...I duno if Meiling or anyone else went.

Yar anyway I didnt wanna go down la..Cuz I was really scared of wad was gonna happen. But Belle and Meiling almost dragged me down there. Belle went to receive healing too ~

I took a long time la..Belle was faster than me..I juz couldnt bring myself to say out my sin cuz I was really ashamed of it. Like I was totally unclean, not worth to say anything about it. But by God's grace my counsellor didnt give up on me and kept praying for me until she got a rough idea what my sin was about.

Didnt knw what the heck I was doing..I heard tt Mike hit other people and slapped himself..Lolz so thats how violent manifestation is..

But now I am a new creation in Jesus Christ. I finally understand what it is to forgive those who trespassed against me. I used to think that "once I've sinned, always I've sinned". I know, its a crappy and totally wrong mentality. U know..Like once unclean, always unclean.

But I forgot one thing..I'm bought over by Jesus. So no matter what I've done, once I've repented, forgiven myself and my trespasser, God will also forgive. And He'll forget it too. There wun be a record of that sin.

You wont believe how free I felt after everything. It was excellent. So many people responded to the outer call, and so many walked out of Hall 8 saved. Truly, Jesus is amazing. Jesus is so real to me, and believe to other people too.

My sister is next to me complaining about her quarrel with Cailing with another friend. All the vulgarities and slamming of stuff on the tables; speaking loudly; totally disregarding my presence and shutting God out.

Sigh I really wanna save her haiz but she knows tt its a sin juz tt she doesnt wanna repent nw cuz she thinks those stuff wun last and when they fade away, God will still forgive her.

God will la, but its a wrong mentality la..Den wad..We juz keep sinning cuz in the end God will still forgive us? I'm not surprised if its rejected.

I'm totally irritated by her. Giving lousy attitudes when I talk about God, showing disrespect and lying in the name of the Lord. I'm really . . . I duno how she become liddat la..Is it really because of Cailing. I dun think so. I think its juz her herself. One day, if her attitude problem continues, I wont be surprised if she's left alone. By then, its too late and no one would bother bout her. IF she still doesnt turn to God now.

What I'm feeling is the anguish of a sister. I cant even begin to imagine what God's feeling right now.

Is He crying?..